What Every Business Can Learn From the Queer Eye Fab 5

At the center of every business failure, lawsuit, sexual harassment complaint, disengaged employee, leader who can’t lead, or employee theft, is a damaged core. If you experience these, the core of your business is damaged.

Not Good Enough Syndrome

Working with CEOs and their teams from around the world for more than 25 years, I’ve learned that everyone experiences it at some level. Feelings of inadequacy from schoolyard bullying or parents, teachers, churches telling you you’re “not enough”. Some version of not smart enough, not good looking enough, “your brother is the smart one” or “you’ll never be successful.”

While this syndrome affects both men and women, men tend to better at pushing it down and ignoring it.

The Queer Eye Fab 5 Get It – So Should You

As my daughter and I binge-watched Season 3 of Queer Eye, I was repeatedly struck by their understanding that healing had to be done at each person’s core. These aren’t merely makeovers, they’re deep healing.

Negative Core Beliefs Destroy Your Business and Life

Jason, the CEO of a manufacturing company started on a roll, making $5 Million in sales in two years. But that initial success didn’t last. Revenues flattened and profits declined. He didn’t understand why. But I did.

Have you ever had a big win or three;

created massive success and then

suddenly nothing works? Struggle seems

to be your new mantra?

He’d surpassed the level of success that he thought he deserved. Nothing he did to turn around the business was working. He was making bad decisions. His team didn’t respect him. His wife was unhappy and ready to leave.


He was blocking success and money and the root cause of it was his relationship with his father.

“What? I’ve got a great relationship with my dad,” was his response. But it wasn’t true. Sons are supposed to have great relationships with their dads. But for many, it’s a belief they’ve been taught, not reality.

I asked him about stories he’d told me, often with a laugh. Like the many times his father told Jason “you should sell the business and get a job because you don’t have what it takes.” And, the childhood memories of being belittled or told that having money was a struggle.


“It’s so hard to shake those things you carry with you

from your childhood and past.”

– Barbara Corcoran, Real Estate Mogul and Shark

Jason carried all these beliefs around in his body. It affected the decisions he made, the people he hired, his relationships with his wife and children.

The Number 1 Block to Success

He didn’t want his dad to be right. His dad wasn’t right. But at a deep, core level, Jason was afraid that maybe he was.

He was living from a place of fear. Buried fear, but fear.  His denial of it, pushing it down, only made it stronger.

When you believe that you’re not “enough” — good enough, smart enough, worthy enough — whatever it is for you, that belief creates fear in your body and in the frequency you emit. Yes, you emit an energy and frequency. You may not recognize it, but it’s there. And, the people in your life, your team, buyers, and children, can feel it. They may not know exactly what it is they are feeling, but it’s not good.

This Is Important

More important than anything you “do” in your life and business, such as marketing or sales training.

When “I’m not enough” beliefs are buried in your core, you emit an energy that tells everyone you encounter that you’re not to be trusted. You slap a smile on your face, but your frequency says it’s fake. They may not know why they don’t trust you, but they don’t.

The Electrical Storm in Your Business and Life

Quantum physics tells us that your every thought, emotion, belief, and feeling, sends out an energetic frequency that magnetically attaches to similar frequencies.

Fear is like an electrical storm in your energy field. You say you want money, love, respect, success, but fear and self-doubt are messing up your signal. What you get back then are more opportunities to experience fear.

No. Not everything is misery. But life is far harder than it needs to be.

Fear will stop you in your tracks every time. It keeps you from moving forward.  It keeps you stuck.

  • Have you had success, but can’t maintain it?
  • Are you afraid to fail? What will people think?
  • Are you afraid to succeed? People may expect you to give more than you want.
  • Will people think you’re a fraud?
  • Are you wrapped in fear?


Heal Your Core – Success Will Follow

Thinking they were the answer to his problems, Jason spent many thousands of dollars on marketing, sales, and other gimmicks. They didn’t work.

He was feeling the pain of self-imposed failure, that only increased his fear and made the situation worse. Like many in the C-Suite, stress was taking a toll on his body, putting him at dramatically increased risk of debilitating and possible fatal illness.

While buying these useless one-shot-wonders made him feel like he was doing something it also helped him continue to deny the real cause of all that stress.


Finally, in a moment of self-reflection, he realized that there just might be some truth in this. Maybe he was living the influence of those negative messages. Perhaps he had buried the effects so deeply that even he wasn’t willing to recognize or admit them.

That crack allowed in just enough light to convince him to explore healing is core.

Once he started, he didn’t want to stop, even when it was painful. Buried fear and resistance were transformed into relief. He shifted personally. He then applied what he’d learned to his company and team.

Suddenly all of those tactics and techniques that weren’t working, ignited.

  • New leads came in.
  • Sale after sale was closed.
  • Multi-million and billion-dollar deals were signed.
  • The energy of the company shifted.
  • People started showing up to work energized instead of exhausted.


He began healing himself. And, he healed the business from the inside out and it blossomed.

The #1 Question to Ask

How do you apply this in your own life? Your first step is to begin noticing what you’re feeling in your body. When you feel uncomfortable, your body is telling you that your beliefs are out of alignment with what you want. Don’t push the feeling down. Feel it. Where is it located? Can you find the trigger? When you find the trigger, ask “what’s under that?” (WUT?)

Here’s a quick example:

Trigger: I don’t have enough money

WUT?: I remember my parents arguing about money.

WUT?: My always told me money was hard. I have to struggle.

Or WUT?: I learned at church that rich people won’t go to heaven.

Keep it going until you locate the root beliefs that are running your life and business. That’s when you start letting them go and moving forward. It may take some time, but it’s worth it!

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Letter To the Men Who Pull Away

Dear sweet man,

I am so sorry that you thought I didn’t see all the ways you were trying. I do see all of the ways that you were trying. I honor your choice to try in those ways. I thank you deeply for all of the ways you courageously show up.

My heart is so sad that we live in a world where men are socialized to think that they’re worth is tied to their accomplishments. I am sad that I did not realize how much this was true for you. You have been trying so hard, so hard not only to achieve the love of the feminine but also to prevent further wounding of the feminine, from the feminine. You are wearier than I knew at the time. And for good reason. It is fair that you are weary.

It is fair that you are pissed. You should not have to prove yourself. You did not have to prove yourself to me, and I thought you knew that. Perhaps I became lazy in my assumption. I do not want your selfless and endless giving. I want your heart. I do not want your self-sacrifice. I want you, the fully embodied You. Just as you are. I do not want your perfectionism. I want your vulnerability in my arms. I do not want you to hold it in and then explode, I want you to bravely come to me in the soft and sacred space of us. I want your fear. I want the truth.

I want so desperately to be the woman that helps you to transmute, rather than add to you, your shame, and look, with all my knowledge, I was her for a minute. For so long, so long as I got it right, you felt safe, and then, to mess up means to see you pull away. Can we stop this cycle, please? The whole of us? The perpetuation of separation in the very places we can grow when we come together.

I am a woman who has seen this before. I am a woman who aches at the loss of a man, yes, but for the collective space between that, we all navigate which is full of eons of separation. I am a woman aching in my body, in my bones, with the separation of eons.

Four years ago, I would have walled up and stacked this up to things men do, terrified in my body to ever trust again.
Three years ago, I would have fought you and used biting words and told you about yourself and tried to convince and analyzed and school you – having my process but denying my part.
Two years ago, I would have rolled my eyes at you and added to the shame and written about how scared I am for my own son, still saying “no man ever shows up.”
Last year, I still would have picked myself back up in a fighting stance. I see that now.
And here’s what’s different now. My heart is just open. I recognize our mutual ache. I just want to come to this table.

I know this loss, this chasm we create in self-protection. I know your pain. I know our shame. What I’m asking for is for us to do it differently this time.

For the whole of us to do this differently now. Less separation, less blame. More heart, more authentic connection.

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‘Here’s a Mask. Invisible. Magic. Put it on… and You’ll Feel Brave.’

Neil Gaiman tells this story. You may have seen it as a Short Take, at the bottom of the main screen. Sometimes it’s there. Generally it isn’t. I think about it often, more now than I used to. And I thought: This needs to be permanent. Now it is…

My friend told me a story he hadn’t told anyone for years. When he used to tell it years ago people would laugh and say, ‘Who’d believe that? How can that be true? That’s daft.’ So he didn’t tell it again for ages. But for some reason, last night, he knew it would be just the kind of story I would love.

When he was a kid, he said, they didn’t use the word autism, they just said ‘shy’, or ‘isn’t very good at being around strangers or lots of people.’ But that’s what he was, and is, and he doesn’t mind telling anyone. It’s just a matter of fact with him, and sometimes it makes him sound a little and act different, but that’s okay.

Anyway, when he was a kid it was the middle of the 1980s and they were still saying ‘shy’ or ‘withdrawn’ rather than ‘autistic’. He went to London with his mother to see a special screening of a new film he really loved. He must have won a competition or something, I think. Some of the details he can’t quite remember, but he thinks it must have been London they went to, and the film…! Well, the film is one of my all-time favourites, too. It’s a dark, mysterious fantasy movie. Every single frame is crammed with puppets and goblins. There are silly songs and a goblin king who wears clingy silver tights and who kidnaps a baby and this is what kickstarts the whole adventure.

It was ‘Labyrinth’, of course, and the star was David Bowie, and he was there to meet the children who had come to see this special screening.

‘I met David Bowie once,’ was the thing that my friend said, that caught my attention.

‘You did? When was this?’ I was amazed, and surprised, too, at the casual way he brought this revelation out. Almost anyone else I know would have told the tale a million times already.

He seemed surprised I would want to know, and he told me the whole thing, all out of order, and I eked the details out of him.

He told the story as if it was he’d been on an adventure back then, and he wasn’t quite allowed to tell the story. Like there was a pact, or a magic spell surrounding it. As if something profound and peculiar would occur if he broke the confidence.

It was thirty years ago and all us kids who’d loved Labyrinth then, and who still love it now, are all middle-aged. Saddest of all, the Goblin King is dead. Does the magic still exist?

I asked him what happened on his adventure.

‘I was withdrawn, more withdrawn than the other kids. We all got a signed poster. Because I was so shy, they put me in a separate room, to one side, and so I got to meet him alone. He’d heard I was shy and it was his idea. He spent thirty minutes with me.

‘He gave me this mask. This one. Look.

‘He said: ‘This is an invisible mask, you see?

‘He took it off his own face and looked around like he was scared and uncomfortable all of a sudden. He passed me his invisible mask. ‘Put it on,’ he told me. ‘It’s magic.’

‘And so I did.

‘Then he told me, ‘I always feel afraid, just the same as you. But I wear this mask every single day. And it doesn’t take the fear away, but it makes it feel a bit better. I feel brave enough then to face the whole world and all the people. And now you will, too.

‘I sat there in his magic mask, looking through the eyes at David Bowie and it was true, I did feel better.

‘Then I watched as he made another magic mask. He spun it out of thin air, out of nothing at all. He finished it and smiled and then he put it on. And he looked so relieved and pleased. He smiled at me.

‘’Now we’ve both got invisible masks. We can both see through them perfectly well and no one would know we’re even wearing them,’ he said.

‘So, I felt incredibly comfortable. It was the first time I felt safe in my whole life.

‘It was magic. He was a wizard. He was a goblin king, grinning at me.

‘I still keep the mask, of course. This is it, now. Look.’

I kept asking my friend questions, amazed by his story. I loved it and wanted all the details. How many other kids? Did they have puppets from the film there, as well? What was David Bowie wearing? I imagined him in his lilac suit from Live Aid. Or maybe he was dressed as the Goblin King in lacy ruffles and cobwebs and glitter.

What was the last thing he said to you, when you had to say goodbye?

‘David Bowie said, ‘I’m always afraid as well. But this is how you can feel brave in the world.’ And then it was over. I’ve never forgotten it. And years later I cried when I heard he had passed.’

My friend was surprised I was delighted by this tale.

‘The normal reaction is: that’s just a stupid story. Fancy believing in an invisible mask.’

But I do. I really believe in it.

This article originally appeared on The Head Butler.

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The Hidden Power of Imagination and How to Use It to Succeed

Within all of us lies a hidden power. This hidden power could be the one thing you need to bring about your greatest successes. For many, this power is often underused and underdeveloped. For the mass of highly successful people, it is used every day.

Known as the “workshop wherein are fashioned all plans created by man”, the imagination is the workshop of the man. The term imagination simply means the faculty of imagining something that could be, without seeing it first. Imagination is when we form mental pictures of a future desired result, invention, business concept, service, organization, movement, etc.

Every great person has used the faculty of imagination and harnessed its power to accomplish. Imagination is one of the critical success factors in life, yet, sadly it often goes untapped for many of us.

The truth is that we can all develop our imagination to greater capacities if we just knew a little bit more about how our imagination works and how to use it!

Two Primary Forms of Imagination

There are two forms of the imaginative faculty according to Napoleon Hill: Synthetic Imagination and Creative Imagination.

Synthetic Imagination

Through the synthetic imagination, we make connections between concepts, ideas or plans from past experiences/knowledge and put them in new combinations to essentially “create” something new from something old. The synthetic imagination helps us to process old information based upon new information and bring the thoughts together to form a more complete idea. When a problem cannot be solved by synthetic imagination, we have the great opportunity of developing and harnessing our creative imagination.

Creative Imagination

Through the creative imagination, we make a connection with new thoughts altogether. Judge where these new thoughts come from yourself, but what happens with the creative imagination is new. A new concept, thought, idea or plan comes out of seemingly “nowhere” as a hunch or moment of inspiration. Our creative imaginations only work as well as our conscious minds are working at a very rapid rate. We must be thinking accurately and clearly to use our creative imagination with its greatest potential.

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” – Albert Einstein

The Great Untapped Resource of Many

If we do not know very much about how to use our imaginations for achievement, we have most likely allowed it to become weak and inactive. But just like exercising a limp or underused body to make it strong again, we can revive and make our imaginations more alert.

The best way to get started using the power of imagination for achievement is to make use of your synthetic imagination and start using your conscious thinking to it’s greatest capacity.

To use your synthetic imagination, spend some time everyday thinking and planning your future, starting with today. Just think! Just beginning to think and plan will wake up your imagination and cause it to seek connections from the past to new ideas to bring your plans into a reality. Reading is also important for the synthetic imagination. We can not connect old ideas to new ones if we never fill our minds with new ideas!

Making use of your conscious thinking simply means solving today’s problems with rational and common sense solutions. Some challenges we face day to day can easily be dissolved through rational problem solving and planning with common sense. Once we begin using our conscious minds at our highest rates, we can tap into our imaginations for the missing pieces.

Remember that ideas are the beginning of all great achievement. There are ideas lying dormant within all of us that can be connected and brought together with new ideas to form great ideas using the synthetic imagination. The creative imagination can help us most when our synthetic and conscious thinking has brought us as far as we can go. Then, we have to rely on inspiration and creative imagination to help us.

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.” – Carl Sagan

There is a reasoning capability within every person. This reasoning capability is really simple.  Reason, in its most basic definition, means “a basis or cause, as for some belief, action, fact, event, etc”. In other words, reasoning is how you come to a conclusion based upon the information you input into your mind, whether through experience, circumstance, books, articles, mp3′s, or podcasts.

As you bring into your mind new information, how you reason with that new information to form conclusions is very important. It’s important because when you reason and come to a conclusion, it will in time become a belief. If you reason correctly, you will form accurate conclusions. If you reason incorrectly, you will form faulty conclusions.

Your conclusions become your beliefs. Once again, if your conclusions are incorrect because your reasoning is not right, your beliefs will be incorrect. If your beliefs are incorrect, your life will suffer. You will not be successful. If you want to see success beyond your wildest imagination, you have to start with reasoning correctly because your beliefs determine your feelings.

source https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-hidden-power-of-imagination-and-how-to-use-it-to-succeed/

WonderCon 2019 – NOS4A2 Set to Invade Your Televisions This Summer

nos4a2, tv show, supernatural, horror, drama, adaptation, joe hill, zachary quinto, ashleigh cummings, wondercon 2019, amc

Anaheim – AMC has dropped a new trailer for their upcoming supernatural horror drama NOS4A2 (pronounced “Nosferatu”) during the shows panel at WonderCon 2019.

Based on Hill’s 2013 best-selling novel of the same name, NOS4A2 follows Vic McQueen, played by Cummings (“The Goldfinch”), a gifted young woman who discovers she has a supernatural ability to find lost things. This ability puts her on a collision course with the evil and immortal Charlie Manx, played by Emmy®-nominee Zachary Quinto (“Star Trek,” “American Horror Story”). Manx is a supernatural villain who feeds off the souls of children then deposits what remains of them into Christmasland – a twisted place of Manx’s imagination where every day is Christmas Day and unhappiness is against the law. Vic strives to defeat Manx and rescue his victims – without losing her mind or falling victim to him herself.

NOS4A2 is executive produced by showrunner O’Brien (“Fear the Walking Dead,” “Hell on Wheels”), Lauren Corrao, co-president of Tornante Television, and Hill. In addition to Quinto and Cummings, the cast includes Ólafur Darri Ólafsson (“Lady Dynamite”) as Bing Partridge, Virginia Kull (“The Looming Tower”) as Linda McQueen, Ebon Moss-Bachrach (“The Punisher”) as Chris McQueen and Jahkara Smith (aka Sailor J) as Maggie Leigh. The series is produced by AMC Studios in association with Tornante Television and is set to premier on June 2nd.


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Building Your Confidence and Learning to Flourish

My guest today teaches women to flourish in business. Speaker, coach, mentor, writer, business owner, and mother Yvonne EL Silver develops programs for women who need to rebuild their confidence, build up their resources, elevate their careers, and become the best versions of themselves. With over 25 years of experience helping people develop, Yvonne also chairs mentorship programs for multiple groups, including the Business and Professional Women Calgary and Canadian Business Chicks.

In this episode, Yvonne shares how she leverages her core values of creativity, compassion, inspiration, and possibility to bring her clients more confidence, success in life and business, better work-life balance, and increased quality family time. You’ll hear her tips for beating burnout, improving your confidence, and learning to flourish in your career.




  • What made Yvonne realize she was in a state of emotional overwhelm.
  • How her professional experience and experience as a mother of a child with special needs ties into the work she does.
  • What led to her leaving her corporate role and starting her own business.
  • A key thing to focus on to make your business life more successful and enjoyable.
  • Why hiring for values is more important than hiring for skills.
  • How to create reciprocal energy when you first meet someone.
  • The important connection between language and energy.
  • How our subconscious limiting beliefs come through in our language.
  • Why the words “just” and “but” can be problematic.
  • Practical ways to build confidence.
  • Books that have impacted Yvonne’s life.
  • An important tip for business owners and leaders who feel like they’re burning out.

Previously published on thetoponepercent.com.

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How to Completely Turn Your Life Around This Year and Become 10x More Effective at What You Do

How to Completely Turn Your Life Around This Year and Become 10x More Effective At What You Do

A lot happens every 365 days.

Victories. Lessons. Failures. Physical changes. Special moments. Career successes. Personal growth. And much more.

It’s the best time of the year to consider what you really want and assess which areas of your life deserve more attention.

These are a few tweaks to your daily routine — all of which take 10 minutes or less — that can make you more productive, happier, and healthier this year.

Review 2018 today!

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” — Meg Wheatley

2018 went by rather quickly.

How did it work out for you?

Did you achieve your goals early last year?

What went right? Wrong? And what can you do better?

Did you consume more media or took time to become a better version of yourself?

How about my time management? How did your screentime affect your productivity?

Review all your goals; those you achieved and those that you did not even to start work on.

Have you started on the same path this year?

Or are doing more of what worked?

Be brutally honest when you review 2018.

Take responsibility for the situations you could have done better, and start taking action to make this year even


Write all these things down in your journal/book for reference.

Identify your patterns and how you can replicate everything that worked whilst you focus on this year’s most

important things.

If you are future-focused, this is a helpful reminder to look back, even for a few minutes, and think about how far you’ve come and what you need to do to be better, and smarter in the future.

Embrace 90 days sprints

This year, instead of going on 365 days run, do 90 days sprint.

Most people can’t achieve a significant goal because there is little or no pressure to make real progress in your life or career till you get to October.

To beat your procrastination habit, focus on checking in yourself every three months.

At the end of every 90 days, ask yourself the following questions:

What did I achieve? These are the things you were able to accomplish.

What went well and what didn’t, and how can I do better in the next 90.

What are my most important tasks for the next 90 days? These are the few goals (between 3 and 5) you are most excited about.

Write your MIT’s down.

Cross them off your list of things to do when you get them done. Seeing progress can make you more productive.

To achieve a bigger goal, work backwards

There is nothing wrong with a bigger picture.

But when you focus too much on how exciting the future looks, you will miss the important details you need to work on to achieve that all important goal.

You need to work backwards.

Looking at an end goal can be super scary and often times, seems impossible.

The bigger the more impossible.

Big goals often require multiple steps. Productivity is a process, not an achievement.

The most productive people you know or have read about do not rely on huge bursts and then stop working.

They focus on the details. Micro-steps.

Jim Rohn once said, “Success is a few simple disciplines, practised every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. ​There is power in small wins and slow gains.”

Instead of thinking about the big picture, break it down into smaller, more manageable goals.

Your daily tasks should contribute to a meaningful and greater goal

According to Charles Duhigg, author of Smarter Faster Better, reminding ourselves of how a small action fits into a bigger objective makes it easier to link our small efforts to more meaningful aspirations.

Focus on high-value activities every morning

Many successful people spend the first hours of each day alone, to reflect, think, meditate, create or read.

Find something that motivates you and look forward to it every morning.

Time management starts right from the minute you wake up from bed.

You are most active and productive in the morning, hence the need to do everything in your power to make the first few hours count.

Lean to avoid the busy work that adds no real value to your work, vision or long-term goal.

Low value activities, including responding to notifications, or reacting to emails keep you busy and stop you from getting real work done.

Make time for work that matters.

Prioritise positivity every week

What can you plan today that will make you happy tomorrow?

Or better still, what activities can you add to your weekly routine that will bring out the best in you?

A 2014 study, published in the journal Emotion, found that the key to happiness and a happy day is “prioritizing positivity,” or structuring your day so that it includes activities that are likely to make you happy.

To schedule your days to maximize happiness, add activities that bring you contentment. Don’t just focus on work every day.

Set aside time for your best hobby every day.

You don’t have to spend hours doing it. Just 15 minutes can make a huge difference in your life every day.

Take time to connect with your best self every day. You can spend the first few minutes every morning doing what you enjoy, a few minutes every night to focus on your best activity.

It could be anything that relaxes you and that is replicable each day.

Put your evenings to good use

Evening routines can make or break your mornings.

Here is a familiar routine you should give up: After work, you eat dinner, sprawl out on the couch, binge Netflix, you keep using your smartphone until you practically fall asleep, struggle to get a good night sleep, wake up tired or late, and start your day without knowing exactly what needs to be done.

Long before the week is over, you’re burned out and know you won’t hit this week’s goals.

How do you get out of this rut?

Better morning and evening routines!

A routine at night means better time management.

“Maintaining healthy habits is a good idea at any time of the day, but certain ones can give you more bang for your buck when done before bed,” says Rachel Daniels, RD, senior director of nutrition at Virtual Health Partners in New York.

Laura Vanderkam, author of “Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done” recommends setting one (simple) priority for every weekday evening.

“It is very easy to come home after work and just feel like, well, I’m too tired to do anything. But you have several hours then that are going and you will never get that back,” says Vanderkam.

The close of each day is just as important as the start.

Choose to read a few pages of your favourite book, write down what you are grateful for the day, spend quality time with your family, go to the gym, or spend a few minutes to plan tomorrow tonight.

Use these habits to get ready for tomorrow and minimise the resistance you encounter in getting things done in the morning.

Slow down

Stop doing busy work.

You don’t have to keep your calendar full of tasks every day of the week.

Life can be a rat race that often pressures us to keep pushing until we burn out. You don’t want that.

Make time for YOU!

Take a break every now and then to refresh, recover and start over.

Your body needs it to deliver what you expect of it.

Review your commitments and get rid of everything that adds little or no value to your life.

Start defending your time, attention, energy and resources.

Sometimes slowing down means saying, “No,” even if it means disappointing one or two people.

Work. Rest. Refresh. Repeat.

Key takeaway

How 2019 turns out is largely within your control. You can make it your best year yet if you are ready to make a few changes to your daily habits. Your focus this year is significant to your success.
Changing your life for the better this year is about picking a destination and taking one step at a time to get there.

Originally appeared on Medium’s The Startup.

Photo by Pixabay.

The post How to Completely Turn Your Life Around This Year and Become 10x More Effective at What You Do appeared first on The Good Men Project.

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Putting a Label on Another Person is the Same as Rejecting Them

What is your favorite brand to put on people? Epithets like redneck, communist, socialist, a**hole, lowlife, uneducated, high-maintenance and loudmouthed are common ones I hear. There are others that don’t seem so offensive but put boundaries around the targeted person’s character; blue collar, conservative, liberal, progressive or overly religious. When we label others, we unfairly restrict them to this description.

It seems like it is second nature for humans to use labels to describe others. This is the way our ego uses to identify those who are for or against us. The problem with this approach is that the descriptor we apply becomes our justification for dismissing or accepting others. It allows us to shirk our responsibility to know the targeted person. When we label others, we use it as a prism by which to judge their actions. for example, if we consider a person to be an asshole, we interpret their actions to be malicious even when they are trying to be kind.

We put labels on ourselves 

No one is harder on me than me. I often judge myself to be stupid, unattractive, unworthy of good things, unlovable and boring. Using self-descriptors to describe oneself is natural, but we can use them in a way that is harmful to us. I am sure you are just as hard on yourself.

Thoughts are things, so when you identify yourself with negative descriptors, you are negating your own true potential.

There is nothing gained by using labels 

Our country today is divided in very negative ways. I attribute this to our penchant to put restrictions on those who differ from us. This is nothing more than labeling. It is an excuse to turn a deaf ear on one another. Classifying those who have different opinions or beliefs as evil, stupid or unethical illustrates that you want to feel superior to them. This desire to be better than others is what hateful fear mongers are using to manipulate us into picking sides. This benefits them, but it is not helping to create a greater good.

It is tempting to put people into neat little packages but doing so is not doing you or them any good. Place a check on your tendency to put others (and yourself) down with labels. This habit is causing you harm. It is what keeps you from evolving into the person you were meant to be. It is what prevents you from creating a fulfilling and exciting life. People are multi-faceted and are connected to the Higher Consciousness that is the source of all things. The negative labels we use on ourselves and others put a boundary around what this Higher Power can accomplish with is. A better world awaits us if we can see the full potential in others and we can embrace them with love, kindness, and acceptance of all they are.

As always, wishing you a life filled with joy, love, and serenity.

Previously published here and reprinted with the author’s permission.

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The post Putting a Label on Another Person is the Same as Rejecting Them appeared first on The Good Men Project.

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